If your boyfriend’s sex drive has dropped off, it’s important to understand why this is happening. This will help you figure out if there are any bigger issues in your relationship that need to be worked on.
It’s normal for sexual desire to drop off once a couple has been in a relationship for a while. Here are some of the possible reasons why:
1. He’s feeling self-conscious
Self-consciousness can be a real drag on your confidence, and when you’re dating someone who suffers from this issue it’s hard to find intimacy. It can lead to rigidity and awkwardness in a relationship, as well as a fear of being negatively judged by others.
For example, he may be self-conscious about the fact that you’re taller than him, and this could make him uncomfortable in intimate situations. He might even avoid posing for photos with you to hide the height difference.
If he’s feeling this way, talk to him about it in a neutral and non-intimate environment. This will let him know that you care about him and that his feelings are valid.
2. He’s getting his needs taken care of elsewhere
Sometimes a man’s libido can drop out of the blue. This could be because he’s seeing someone else sexually or he could have contracted an STD that is making him less interested in sex. He may also be taking a medication that has messed with his hormones (this happens often with birth control and antidepressants).
It’s always heartbreaking when a partner loses interest in sex, but don’t assume this is the end of the relationship. Your boyfriend is giving you a big clue here about what’s going on, so listen to him.
3. He’s feeling unsatisfied with the state of your relationship
Sometimes, as people enter into marriage or long-term relationships, their sex drives change. While it may hurt, this does not necessarily mean your relationship is over.
Instead of making him feel like he’s performing or that you don’t want him sexually, try listening intently to his feelings and respecting his boundaries. Avoid nagging him and encourage him to seek help with mental health issues if necessary.
You could also suggest couple’s counseling to get your feelings out in the open and discuss how you can resolve the issue together.
4. He’s overly stressed from work
If he’s working extra hours or dealing with something else in his personal life that’s stressing him out, it can take a toll on his libido. He may not have any energy left for sex, or he may prefer lower-key activities like movies and dinner dates to help him relax after a long day. If this is the case, it’s a good idea to talk to your partner about the issue and consider couples counseling. This will help you get to the bottom of the problem and decide what the next best steps are.
5. He’s suffering from a mental health issue
If your boyfriend suffers from a mental health issue, it can be difficult for him to get turned on. Depression and other conditions like anxiety can decrease libido, and many medications like antidepressants or heart drugs can also affect it.
However, despite this being a difficult situation to be in, it’s important that you support him and show him love. It’s a good idea to talk to a therapist about your relationship and how the mental illness has affected it. But be sure to remind him that he’s ok just the way he is, and to not expect him to change.
6. He’s feeling unwanted or unappreciated
Over time, it’s completely normal for a person to become disinterested in sex. While you might feel like this is a big deal, you should remember that it’s not your fault.
Perhaps he’s suffering from “performance anxiety.” He might believe that he won’t please you sexually, so he’s avoiding sex altogether.
He may also be feeling unappreciated by you. You should try to understand him better and talk about this issue. A therapist can help you find a healthy solution. If he feels that his needs aren’t being taken care of, he will likely start to prioritize sex with someone else.
7. He’s cheating on you
I know this one is a huge bummer, but sometimes men cheat because they’re not ready for sexual monogamy. It’s up to you to decide if you want to continue with this man as he tries to become a more sexually monogamous person or if you’re ready to walk away.
If your boyfriend is suddenly secretive on his phone, disappearing for long periods of time, or always seems to have an excuse for not hanging out with you, these are signs that he may be cheating on you. You should also pay attention to his grooming habits as well as his spending patterns.
